So imagine the scene. Last night the rest of the family are
watching some program on TV. As usually it’s all rubbish. So
I idly pick up a newspaper. This newspaper is a free one.
It’s called the N***h C******* Advertiser.
Anyway, I start flicking through the newspaper. And start
looking at some of the ads. Now I want to play a game with
you. I want to look at the following headlines. Then I want
you to figure out what they’re trying to sell. Ready? Here
are some headlines I’ve picked out at random.
1. Stop The Rock
2. Sea Side – Oh We Do Like To Be
3. Celebrate With Us This Christmas
4. A Natural Smile Makes Such a Difference – Elizabeth’s Story
Well, what did you come up with?
I bet you had fun trying to figure what the heck these
headlines refer to. I certainly did. Some headlines confused
the hell out of me. Others, I thought WTF are they going on about.
So let’s look at them.
1. Stop the Rock. This is a headline of an article beside
an ad. Would the headline make you want to read on? I mean
what the hell does Stop the Rock refer to? It could be anything.
The headline is just so vague why would you stop and read the
article? You wouldn’t.
The headline is actually trying to sell you on tooth implants.
And the Rock bit in the headline is referring to having dentures
sliding around in your mouth.
Weird. The writer certainly didn’t have a clue when he wrote
that headline.
2. Sea Side – Oh We Do Like To Be
This is a FULL page ad for an upmarket hotel-restaurant. This
ad must have cost thousands of pounds. Yet, the headline is so
pathetic… so weak…. it can’t have drawn any response.
Why would you read the ad? The headline isn’t promising you any
benefit for reading on.
3. Celebrate With Us This Christmas
Well, did you guess the answer to this one? Again this headline
is very vague. If you guessed a restaurant you did well.
The next question is why I should celebrate with you this
Christmas. You just want my money.
4. A Natural Smile Makes Such a Difference – Elizabeth’s Story
I read the headline and first thought cosmetic surgery. But I
was wrong. The headline is for a denture ad. Adding the word
“story” I suppose could draw people into reading the ad. That’s
because as people we like to read about stories. But again this
headline is weak.
So there we have it four contrasting headlines.
Look if you’re going to run a ad, have a headline that enters
the conversation running through the reader’s mind. Make sure
the headline has a benefit in it that the reader wants. Then
spell out that benefit to the reader. Don’t make the headline
hard to understand. Don’t try to be cute or clever. Don’t try
to be funny. Make the benefit in your headline crystal clear.
None of the above headlines have any benefit for the reader.
Not a single one. Yet having a benefit laden headline has been
proven to generate a higher readership of the ad. And the more
people that read the ad the higher the response to the response.
The funny thing is I actually pitched this newspaper a few years
ago to see if they’d like marketing column or help in writing
ads for their business clients. The newspaper declined my offer.
Because they thought I might contradict what they have been
recommending and this might upset their advertising clients. Take
that how you want!
But I feel sorry for the business owners who are paying to be
advised to run such lukewarm ads. They’re spending their hard
earned cash for advertising that is never going to generate a
response. No wonder business owners think advertising doesn’t pay.
You’re better off taking your partner away for a break in a 5
Star hotel rather than spending money on ads with headline that
don’t catch your reader’s attention.
Till next time
Mark
www.markpocock.com