Here’s an ad cut out from the Sunday Times which is selling a residential club members can use as a London base.
However this ad has some flaws with it.
The headline doesn’t target the reader. The headline doesn’t have a benefit in it. The headline doesn’t enter the conversation the reader is having in their mind.
What do I mean by the above?
Well, let’s get down to basics. What is the headline talking about? Does it mean as a Londoner “I can get away without paying council tax on my London home?”
So the ad is selling a tax avoidance thing is it? Obviously it’s not.
Why not have a headline:
“If you need a London base but don’t want to pay for hotels or buy an expensive apartment here’s the alternative.” Now that’s off the top of my head with 2 minutes thinking gone into it. (Hey, I’m a busy person -J)
This headline flags down your reader who you’re targeting. The reader doesn’t have to think to understand the headline.
Whereas the original headline of the ad is way too vague. I keep reading that headline and stumbling. I find myself thinking, “What does this mean?” It’s confusing.
And, as for that stupid change in colour in the middle of the headline… what the hell’s all that about? Some smartass dreamed that one up because it sure as hell doesn’t belong there.
What do you think?
Comments welcome
Cheers
Mark